If you build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood, and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

Antoine deSaint-Exupery

Section 1: First Awakening

"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Power to move mountains

I still remember the very moment, although it happened almost thirty years ago. It was 1979, a warm and sunny late spring afternoon in Warsaw, Poland. I had an overpowering desire to experience life in a variety of countries and cities, in spite of the fact that most Polish citizens couldn't even get a passport to leave the country. My income was a modest $30 a month. Still, I felt this desire to move with every part of my body, mind and soul. I yearned to go somewhere new, experience all it had to offer and then move on to experience another place. It was more than merely wanting; it was a physical need so intense that it resonated through every atom in my body. This unity created such force that I was able to move out of  Poland and keep moving for over 20 years, living in three countries and eight different cities.

Uniting the Intention Within

What I learned from this experience is that the passion and internal unity gave me power to achieve something beyond comprehension at that time in Poland.

Presently, I find myself at a different level of intensity regarding my desire to move and travel. Part of me wants to settle down, part of me still wants to travel and experience different places. But, unlike that day thirty years ago, my whole being is not completely committed to the idea of endless movement. Within me, there is no unity on that subject at this time. Without unity, there is not enough force to keep me moving around.

Each of us wants to create a beautiful and happy life. Some believe if we work hard enough, smart enough and long enough, success is sure to be ours. Others believe all we must do is visualize; we must merely want it, or imagine it happening, and it will become a reality. As you may know from your own life experiences, getting what we want in life is not quite so simple.

What isn't normally taken into account is that our lives are not only defined by what we think and what we do, but also by what we believe. Many of us, for example, have an unconscious belief that we cannot have a wonderful life because we "don't deserve it," or "never do things right" or "aren't good enough". Such beliefs will always sabotage our most conscious efforts to create the life of our dreams.

Have you ever wondered why life is full of pain-everywhere you look seems to be sickness, sadness, and frustration? What is the purpose of this pain in our lives and how can we use it to make a better world? If you were to think of yourself as a computer, pain would be the error message in the pop-up window that tells you there is a problem. If you slam your finger in the car door, pain will tell you to open the door, and quickly! But what about the pain of grief? Or the pain of disappointment? What are we to do with these? What door can we open to relieve the pain?

Much of our pain comes from the fact that we live out the same patterns over and over, in relationships for example, or by repeatedly taking jobs in which we are under appreciated. Once we recognize that we are stuck in a loop, suffering emotionally or physically, our job is to figure out what caused it, just as a computer programmer will respond to a malfunction by looking at the source code. He can determine the error that is causing the program not to do what it is expected to do. If it is getting stuck in a loop, he must then identify the root cause of the problem, and then very methodically replace the faulty code with a new one. In the same way, we too need to look at our "coding" to figure out which of our life "programs" are working and which are not.

For example, if at an early age, we have our heart broken, we may begin to assume that all relationships lead to heartache and therefore close ourselves off from future connections and never experience the fulfilling relationships we crave. Like the programmer, we have to change the logic, rewrite the code and test to see if the new code will produce the desired result. In our bodies, we have to uncover the belief that is causing the pain and look at how we created the belief - what is the logic? Is this belief working for me? Is this belief a universal truth or was it just a truth for me at that moment? If a belief is malfunctioning in our lives we need to reprogram it, and then go out into the lab called life and test if the new belief works better than the old one. We will know it is working if we are experiencing the desired result of peace and joy rather than pain.

Role of our body in building awareness

I found that where I put my attention was key to my transformation. I had spent most of my life caught up exclusively in the outer world of matter. I was focused on jobs, relationships and tens of thousands of details that have to do with "out there". I spent my time reacting to the things that were "happening to me." Meanwhile, there was a vast inner world that remained largely unexplored.

The first step, though, is to become aware of our inner lives, below the level of consciousness and rational thought. We are occasionally reminded of the inner world when we encounter the truth and we get a "certain feeling" in our body. We need our bodies to experience, to feel, to give us this kind of feedback about what is working and what isn't. At the same time, we also need our symbolic, inner world to interpret what the body experiences. We need our conscious minds to be both the messenger and translator between the outer physical and the inner symbolic worlds. As we integrate the outer and the inner we realize that it is possible to use our minds to modify the things that are not working in our lives. This is what it means to be a Conscious Creator.

I believe, as many do, that our soul lives on beyond our physical body. When we die, the soul keeps the "deposits" we made into the symbolic, internal part of ourselves during our lifetimes. We can invest our time into asking significant questions, receiving answers and learning lessons that expand our consciousness into a more loving, compassionate, whole, humble, grateful and aware human being. We also have to resolve unfinished business, the lessons not learned, the people not forgiven, the guilt, the illusions, the shame, and the beliefs that were just not true. Many people believe that our souls keep coming back until we sort these things out.

The inner world is all about the symbols that we use to give meaning to what happens in the outer world. Language, images and dreams are all instruments through which we experience the internal. We make a choice each time the outer world of matter enters our inner world. We transform the experiences of matter and time into thoughts, beliefs and memories and then code those into our body. Using the feedback from our bodies we have the opportunity to learn from each experience and test our beliefs about the outside world. While we are here, we have the opportunity to live more consciously and authentically, learning the lessons we are here to learn so our souls can complete their journey.

Mine was not an instantaneous enlightenment, but a slow day-to-day transformation that eventually led to better understanding. I hope that in reading my story, you will see the possibility of exploring new ways of creating in your own life.